authentically allison

Warrior Wednesday – Grieve

I love Monica.

Not Friends Monica, although that was the greatest sitcom ever. I mean, when she put that turkey on her head and shook her groove thing for Chandler, I cried laughing.

monica turkey

No, I’m talking about Real Life Monica who is all things good and authentic, and I’d bet my child’s life she’s never put a turkey on her head.

Real Life Monica writes over at Elevate Ideas and unbeknownst to her, she is my go-to for all things blogging, writing and “oh my goodness, am I crazy for thinking about this” mentor.

Congrats, Monica!

Real Life Monica just wrapped up an 8-week series entitled “metamorphosis: embracing a life of becoming.” You totally need to read it and then subscribe to her posts and follow her on Facebook. You’ll be blessed.

Warriors, Real Life Monica threw this little gem of a photo on her Facebook page the other day.

caterpillar die

Y’all. I gasped.

And, then I think I heard God giggling.


Grieving and letting go seems to be a recurring theme in my life right now.

are you willing to let the caterpillar die, so the butterfly can live?

When Danny was injured, almost eight years ago, our lives as we knew them and our dreams as we had hoped for, all died.

We found ourselves living a life on a parallel; in a place of transformation.

It’s hard letting go of the familiar life line and resolving yourself to live fully in the parallel, to embrace it.

Who embraces disability? Or bankruptcy, divorce, disease or the death of a loved one?

For eight years, I’ve been living and comparing my reality to my parallel.

I want our life; the one with 2.5 kids, a nice home, a beach condo and where I get to be a stay at home mom.

Like peeking over the fence and seeing my neighbor’s grass is greener on the other side, I’ve kept my hands busy while my eye and my mind wander back to what was supposed to be.

But, God asks,

are you willing to let the caterpillar die, so the butterfly can live?

Warriors, we can’t inhabit both beings; a caterfly does not exist.

We are either a caterpillar, being transformed or we are a butterfly.

And, just as a butterfly must go through the difficult cycle of life, we must go around the cycle of grief.


I hate to tell you this, but once you’re on a cycle of grief, you don’t get off. You just enter another stage.

And, these cycles, they layer up as life hurls more battles at you.

Like a hint of perfume, a simple memory can throw you back to anger and denial; moments that reach deep into the recesses of your heart and pull that hurt to the front again.

Three steps forward, two steps back.

Psalm 34:18 (The Voice)

When someone is hurting or brokenhearted, the Eternal moves in close
and revives him in his pain.

Warriors, you only know grief because you have known love.

In order to love, you must be willing to lose.

You must be willing to let the caterpillar die, so the butterfly can live.

hands with verseI’m scared.

I don’t know how to do that; how to let go, how to embrace.

Warriors, how do you move through grief?

2 thoughts on “Warrior Wednesday – Grieve

  1. Monica

    While I have never put a turkey on my head, I have thought about it. :) God’s transformation in you is so beautiful, sweet friend. He is painstakingly painting your wings with such care and precision — you will be more breathtaking than you already are, if that’s possible. Isaiah 66:9, “‘In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,’ says the Lord.” (New Century Version) He’s allowing something new. And I can’t wait to see it.

  2. Pingback: Warrior Wednesday – You’re not invisible | authentically allison

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